One night, my 6 year old seemed upset before bed. As I was tucking her in, I asked her what was wrong. “I’m scared," she replied. ”Of what?” I asked, expecting a monster under the bed or a bad dream from last night… ”I’m scared of YOU,” she said, “I’m scared you’re going to yell at me.” This was one of those answers that was so completely unexpected, it almost gave me whiplash. I realized that instead of protecting her from the monsters, I had become the monster… I had been frustrated having...
2 months ago • 2 min read
50% of marriages end in divorce. We’ve all heard this statistic so often that it’s easy to brush off. With repetition, it’s easy to tune it out and not consider the implications. And of those who do think about it, most don’t think it applies to them. I know that when I got married, it certainly didn’t feel like I was gambling on a coin flip… Let’s add some additional info into the mix and present the math a bit differently… Yes, 50% of marriages end in divorce. In the book You Can Be Right...
8 months ago • 2 min read
I just got sidetracked at the grocery store for 20 minutes… I went in for one thing, thinking I’d be in and out quickly. (If you care, I was buying my wife flowers. Want some extra marriage advice? Buy your wife flowers. Like, today. Even just cheap grocery store flowers. I didn’t realize how meaningful this was to my wife, but it makes her happy for days.) As I walked in, I was moving quick: a man on a mission. I was not expecting what I got… When I came to the flower section, there was an...
9 months ago • 3 min read
If you’re still struggling as a dad, it ISN'T because you haven’t read the right book, taken the right class, or watched the right documentary.It’s because you haven’t implemented what you've already learned. Have you ever looked at another dad who seemed to have it all together: happy wife, flourishing kids, successful life and wondered “What’s he got that’s so different than me?”The answer is one single, simple little thing… Guy Kawasaki put it as “Ideas are easy. Implementation is hard.”...
10 months ago • 3 min read
Can we borrow joy from our kids? The word borrow is a bit misleading… Kids naturally have so much joy in their lives that they wouldn’t notice if we did borrow some, but the reality is that it’s not a zero-sum game. When we gain joy from their joy, they lose nothing. It’s not a 1-for-1 trade like most of our adult world is. Just like how they seem to leave a mess in any room they walk through, they also leave energy, laughter & excitement… we just might not notice. Like dirty fingerprints on...
10 months ago • 1 min read
If you can’t fully commit to being a team with your wife, then your marriage is doomed to failure. My marriage proves this lesson. There were so many times when my wife or I created the struggle by viewing each other as opponents instead of teammates. We sought victory over each other instead of victory with each other. We fought against each other instead of for each other. We tried to win the argument instead of resolve the disagreement. And our marriage suffered for it. We were on the...
11 months ago • 1 min read
To all the dads with daughters… As Girl-Dads, we are in a war for our daughters' hearts & souls. That may sound a bit dramatic, but if we look a little closer, I think it's entirely accurate. The world is constantly trying to tell our daughters that they are not good enough. Our girls are being bombarded from all angles with the constant message of “You are not enough.” As Alvin Price says, “Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can't poke...
12 months ago • 2 min read
Good friends do NOT accept you as you are... I know that society wants you to think "you are perfect just the way you are..." but that's just a lie told to keep us stuck. Sometimes, we just need a wake-up call. Firm but caring accountability from another man (or men) is a game-changer. This is not to shame you into the equally destructive lie: “You’ll never be good enough.”It’s to call out those who enable mediocrity by blindly accepting a man’s flaws out of “friendship.” Good friends care...
about 1 year ago • 2 min read
How Laziness Can Make You A Better Dad Laziness can get a bad rap... Yes, it's sometimes fair, but when laziness leads to building systems, it can actually help you become a better husband & dad. (When it results in sitting on your ass all day & doing nothing, it's no good to anyone...) So I guess it all depends on how you define laziness... The definition I like is: “averse or disinclined to work, activity or exertion.” Now, let's just be clear: a good dad needs to be willing and able to...
about 1 year ago • 2 min read